Hiding Our True Dreams In a Cupboard Under the Stairs

There comes a time in ones life, where the question of the future must be answered - sometimes it’s in matric or it could start as early as grade 11. Everywhere we go, people inquire: what’re you going to study? What would you like to become when you grow up? Become. Are we not something at this moment in our lives? Do we need to moult our youthful skins or undergo a metamorphosis of sorts to ‘become’ something else?

Change in a person is inevitable, yes. But that’s not the topic of this post. What I’m questioning is: how honest have you been when answering the question of your future? When other people ask you – do you answer with your heart or your pre-programmed response? Or do you brush it off altogether with a sullen “Idunno”.

I think this is a response to the predetermined nature of humanity : judgemental. We are so afraid of failure, so afraid of being shunned that we give answers to cover up our true desires. Not all of us do this, but I know I’m a blatant victim of this sociological syndrome : hiding my dreams in a little cupboard under the stairs and hoping the Hagrid of reality doesn’t whisk it off to the open world. But, than again, my dreams are so far fetched that they probably DO belong in Hogwarts.

In the community from which I hail, some young ones are indoctrinated into assuming the role of ‘future doctor / accountant / engineer’. Is it fair to cloud a child’s reality with a preset future to ensure their monetary success? I’m not sure. I wish my mother did that. But she gave me these wings. And oh, how I long to fly and be free. But the mere thought of failure, the indomitable fear of failure makes me tremble.

So, when asked of my career options, I’ll dogmatically spout something socially acceptable, but nonetheless a solid career choice, “Comp Sci. Maybe law. Still deciding.”

Oh yes, I’ve decided a long time ago. But, Heaven forbid we admit the goals of our heart, lest they crumble. Why are we so ashamed of ourselves?

Moreover, why do we laugh when people fail? Perhaps that’s the real crux of the matter; not my childlike insecurities. We live in a society conditioned to giggle at gruelling failure. To make ourselves feel better.

Let’s all chill the hell out and do what we love. And if it doesn’t work out, do someone* you love. That is all.