We’ve all been guilty of this, at some point.
To the day, whenever I experience any issue or problem or am confronted with that terrible thing called emotion – I run crying and screaming to somebody. This, I realized, has to stop. When someone asks me how I am, “Oh yeah, it’s chilled” – next second “BUT OMG I HAVE A PROBLEM…” and blah blah blah I rattle on. What’s wrong with us? It’s not a matter of lacking logic, I feel perhaps it’s an inability to apply such logic when the field involved is yourself.
This has to stop.
I’m growing up, and as time passes, I’m not going to have an array of people there to tolerate the crap that spurts out of my mouth. I’m preparing for my crazy cat lady future, where I’ll have 0 contacts on whatsApp because hey, everyone I know is either dead or changed their phone number to avoid my incessant blathering of personal issues.
In my life, I have 3 more or less longstanding pillar, to which I usually turn to for ‘advice’. Firstly, there’s a person I attended high school with, and have known since grade 8, who is presently ahead of me in university years. She’s always been around to listen and give me the best advice anyone can give ‘ it’s up to you’. Whilst there’s never any tangible plan of action, she tackles issues in a level headed manner, allowing me to give vent to my emotions and in doing so feel significantly better. Then she prompts soul-searching where I should do what I need to do : it’s my life, I should be making my own choices. In other words : grow the hell up, sunshine. I love her.
Next is my elder cousin, that I tell EVERYTHING to. He’s understanding and utterly hilarious. I’ll ask him if I should call a guy, or sms a guy and he’ll say something completely random and opposite to it. He helps me by essentially swearing people that hurt me and making me laugh like a psychotic lunatic. But, he also understands me thoroughly and has always been there…I mean, ALWAYS. Yet, he has his own life. Who am I to intrude and constantly shove my issues onto him? Well, I do it anyway – but it needs to stop at some point. At some point, I need to sort myself the hell out.
Lastly, I have an awesome guy friend who gives the best advice I’ve ever heard and is a neat amalgamation of the two other pillars. Yet he isn’t always mentally available, which is understandable. Sometimes he’ll be all STFU FO and I understand it. Because he has his own life, he’s human, and he helps me realize HEYYY WOMAN, THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT HAVE LIVES AND DON’T WANNA BE LISTENING TO YO MOANING FOOL.
Which helps me realize, that I need to stop.
But it’s hard, living in a world where man experiences the testimony to Sartre’s ideology of man living in a hostile universe, where nothing really makes sense. We’re ultimately responsible for our own choices in life – therefore we can’t blame anyone when things go wrong. Yet, in living in this universe, do we not have a need to seek out help? To communicate with people, to laugh, to discuss problems and try to figure out our future? No man is an island – but, I think at the end of the day, we do need to keep some water between our islands at a reasonable level. Just to keep things level, and so we can appreciate how awesome people are when they voluntarily approach us to communicate.
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