People come, and people go : that has always been said. But
nobody told me that the same thing happened with friends. Friends and ‘people’
aren’t the same thing. Friends are people that you come to know on a deeper
level, where you peel away the layer of acquaintance – sometimes reaching the
seed, sometimes being content with the flesh. But, this year I’ve seen
friendships dissipate. I’ve seen people show me their inner seeds, and then
suddenly feel disgusted at the intimacy of our friendship – fleeing.
I can’t understand. Maybe I take friendships too seriously.
Maybe I take it as a deeper thing, me being the girl rocking up at your place
at midnight for your birthday, those phone calls, those evenings of Indie music
and you telling me about your family. Where are those moments, left in the wake
of our conjoined social bubbles? What happens, when a relationship breaks? Is
it as sudden, and predetermined by fate, as our deaths? Or is it the folly of
humankind and the irrational things known as emotions that prevent us from
sustaining relationships that, six months ago, functioned as well-oiled cogs in
the machine of life?
Oftentimes, we live a farce unbeknown to us. Subconsciously
parading the shadow of existence so craftily that we deceive ourselves into the
reality of our actions, when at the back of our mind, our heart whispers the
truth to us. Maybe that’s how they felt – late at night, wondering if their
friendships with me were real, wondering if they did the wrong thing by getting
closer to me? I am simply a mistake, a stumbling stone down your path – if so,
I apologise for sticking out amongst the pebbles, how lucky for you to have
survived tripping over me.
BUT, the question
remains, will I survive the impact of your foot ?
