On the Disintegration of Friendships

People come, and people go : that has always been said. But nobody told me that the same thing happened with friends. Friends and ‘people’ aren’t the same thing. Friends are people that you come to know on a deeper level, where you peel away the layer of acquaintance – sometimes reaching the seed, sometimes being content with the flesh. But, this year I’ve seen friendships dissipate. I’ve seen people show me their inner seeds, and then suddenly feel disgusted at the intimacy of our friendship – fleeing. 

I can’t understand. Maybe I take friendships too seriously. Maybe I take it as a deeper thing, me being the girl rocking up at your place at midnight for your birthday, those phone calls, those evenings of Indie music and you telling me about your family. Where are those moments, left in the wake of our conjoined social bubbles? What happens, when a relationship breaks? Is it as sudden, and predetermined by fate, as our deaths? Or is it the folly of humankind and the irrational things known as emotions that prevent us from sustaining relationships that, six months ago, functioned as well-oiled cogs in the machine of life? 

Oftentimes, we live a farce unbeknown to us. Subconsciously parading the shadow of existence so craftily that we deceive ourselves into the reality of our actions, when at the back of our mind, our heart whispers the truth to us. Maybe that’s how they felt – late at night, wondering if their friendships with me were real, wondering if they did the wrong thing by getting closer to me? I am simply a mistake, a stumbling stone down your path – if so, I apologise for sticking out amongst the pebbles, how lucky for you to have survived tripping over me. 

BUT, the question remains, will I survive the impact of your foot ?